One of the things that I had to grasp in coming to understand the true nature of God is not only His mercy and kindness, but His immediate availability to even a sinner like me (someone covered with the scars and battle worn from mortality–my sins and those committed against me.)
I see that I could say two things to describe or explain the experience of awakening into conscious contact (communication, revelation) from God. .
On one hand, I could say, (as did President Joseph F. Smith in D&C 138), “The eyes of my understanding were opened and I saw, . . .
On the other hand, I could write as did Enos, “And the voice of the Lord came into my mind again, saying . . .”
Or I could write, “The Lord spoke to me in a voice so still and so small that for years I thought it was my own. For years I thought it was me talking to myself.”
Then I began to experiment with King Benjamin’s testimony that God has ALL wisdom both in heaven AND in earth. I decided to picture that any wisdom and any truth (or sanity in other words) I perceive in my mind comes to me, not from me, and that if any intelligent, wise, sane thought comes into my mind, it must be from God. I began to attribute to God those thoughts that I knew in my heart were the truest and most wise. I began to give Him honor for those thoughts and “hear” Him just as Heavenly Father has invited us all to do.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that I have at the very least two voices (trains of thought, sources of thought) going on in my mind at all times. One is a very calm, knowledgeable, peaceful voice, that speaks from a place of steadiness and wisdom. The other is the voice of someone who is at best tenuous, and usually outright confused and scared and sometimes feeling some degree of lost and in that sense “insane.”
They both seem to be “my” voice, but I as I experimented on believing that I could perceive (hear with my spiritual ears) the “words of Christ,” or in other words, the words of Truth whispered to me by the Spirit of Truth (which D&C 93:9-11,26 identifies as Jesus Christ), I began to realize that my thought life is actually a dialogue between heaven and earth, between truth and confusion, between Christ (speaking as one with and for my Heavenly Father) and me. I began to realize that I am not alone in my mortal life. I didn’t get dropped on this planet without a direct communication line (through the Light of Christ and the additional witness–second witness–of the Holy Ghost) to God, to Heaven, to HOME.
And so, since this reality began to dawn on me, I can’t tell you what a difference it makes to read the scriptures and have His thoughts (voice, words) come into my mind and “open” up the meaning and personal application of a verse or even a phrase of scripture. I cannot explain what it means to be able to say “The eyes of my understanding were opened and I saw, . . . what Truth the Lord was trying to reveal to me,” as I prayerfully (two way conversational exchange) counsel with Him in my doings.
Notice I didn’t say “all my doings.” If I counseled with Him in ALL my doings, then all my doings would be wise and sane and “perfect in Christ.” (Moroni 10:32). It is me that is imperfect and always wavering, stumbling, bumbling–and it is He who is always patient, kind, always willing to take me back. His humility is beyond anything I can imagine. That God would come to me and walk and talk with me! (And any and all of us as soon as we are willing to believe and receive Him.) This is Christ Immanuel! God with us. Available. Willing. LONGING to be recognized and communed with.
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