Therefore, verily I say unto you, lift up your voices unto this people; speak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts, and you shall not be confounded before men;
For it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, in the very moment, what ye shall say. (D&C 100:5-6)
As I was reviewing and indexing some of my 2002 and 2003 journal entries, recently, I found the following entry dated in July, 2003. I’m sharing it here and now, almost 15 years later, because it is a perfect example of the heart-to-heart conversations that the abundance of the Lord’s goodness has allowed me to experience over even the smallest things I bring to Him.
Truly, I can testify this experience of conversing with the Lord as one man [person, friend, loved one] with another is all about His goodness and none of my own. I am not boasting of my worthiness or faithfulness, but of God’s. Truly He is both worthy and faithful enough for all of us and will wrap each and any of us who will come unto Him for mercy in the robes of His righteousness.
Here’s the entry from July, 2003, written the day after I spoke at a Church event. In it I come to the Lord for counsel concerning the self-doubt I always feel after free-falling through yet another public address despite the pages of notes with which I came prepared.
Journal Entry – July 2, 2003
Lord, I keep wanting to agonize over yesterday’s presentation. I just tend to free-fall once I find myself standing at the podium.
Or maybe I’m just trying to take an honest inventory. Please help me see the truth according to Thy Spirit, dear Lord, about the things I shared yesterday.
Colleen, you counseled with Me consciously, conversationally, through out the whole message, and I gave you the words you spoke. Testifying of Me is not about doing something, but about being something. All was good, Colleen, given of Me.
I just feel like I’m out of control when I stand up to speak.
That’s because you are.
I see in my understanding that it is sort of like hang gliding. A person can know all there is to know about the wind and the effect of temperature, etc. And they can do all they can to make sure their equipment is organized and configured properly. But, once a person launches off into the air, there is no ultimate control. They are totally trusting their lives to the invisible elements from moment to moment to both give them a thrilling experience during their flight and then bring them safely back to earth.
–end of 2003 entry
Validating scriptures and prophetic quotes:
(Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 345)
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